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Quietude
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 Subject: Quietudes entirely subjective joke contest
*******CLOSED*********
Thank you all for participating, and sharing your humor with me.... I'm awarding the prizes as follows:

*****first place: ***** You gave 10 sapphires, 10 elements to ZiggyMonster for Newton's third law of emotion.... The first time i told this joke, my girlfriend punched me. I like the joke so well that i'm having t-shirts made, and several of my mates are ordering them as well:


***** second place ***** : You gave 5 sapphires, 5 elements to Scabernac for the golfing joke:
A man walks into his Doctor's office with a golf club wrapped tightly around his neck and a number of bruises and cuts all over his body. After carefully removing the club so the man could talk, the Doctor asks him what happened.

"Well", explains the man, "My wife and I where playing a round when both of our balls got caught in the wind and went off course into a farmers field. We both went to go look for the balls and after about 20min, I got curious. You see doc, I have never seen what the backside of a cow looks like, so for scientific reasons (rather then just childish curiosity, mind you), I decided to have a peak. Lifting the tail I was surprised to see my golf ball. Since we where following the 'play it where it lies' rule, I tried to get out of making this impossible swing. Instead I turned to my wife and holding the tail up while pointing at the ball yelled over to my wife....

Hey honey! This looks like your's!"

*****third place ***** : You gave 3 sapphires, 3 elements to ~[Arch_Angel]~ for the stanly cup joke:

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

*****And one more ***** : You gave 50 helix to TheHoneyBadger for the multitude of great jokes, many of which might have made it in the top three had i judged in the evening after beer instead of in the morning after coffee.

Thanks again to all who participated

*************Closed*******
I'm in search of more jokes that i can tell my friends outside DW while pretending i'm actually funny on my own. DW folks crack me up on a daily basis, so I thought I'd have a lil contest....

Everyone that tells a reasonably funny joke will get a helix. Anyone that makes me chuckle gets 2 helix. Anyone that makes me laugh outloud gets 4 helix. At the end of February I will close the thread and give prizes to my favorite three submissions:

Favorite joke - 10 elements, 10 sapps
2nd favorite joke - 5 elements, 5 sapps
3rd favorite joke - 3 elements, 3 sapps

Rules:
Please post all your jokes under one thread, Titled with your name.

Notes:
1. This is entirely subjective, based on my experience of your joke, so please bear with me if i judge differently than you would like.

2. The game is i believe pg-13, so be careful in what you post. If you've got a GREAT one that you don't think can be posted in forums, I'm an adult, feel free to mail it to me.... but only if you're sure it's reaally good .

Cheers, and thanks for helping me in my quest to simulate possession of a personality and sense of humour, and putting a smile on my face


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Time Posted: January 22 2013 01:07 am EST
Last updated: March 1 2013 01:35 am EST


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