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Back a step
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Back a step
| Nimre
Posts: 745 Status: Earl Karma: +115 [+1] [-1]   |
Subject: Nimre | |||||
| I have posted these two in the JJ forums: 1. A man driving past an asylum at night... …had a flat tire. He got out and took his car jack and spare tire when he felt he was being watched. He turned around and there he saw a crouching man leering back at him through the fence, holding on the cyclone wire so tight that he could see the wrist tendons all tensed up. With goose bumps all over, he proceeded to change his tire, set up his jack, removed the five nuts and placed them inside the upturned hubcap. But he couldn't take his mind off the man behind him that he hit the hubcap with the tire as he was rolling it over to the wheelbase and saw to his dismay the nuts hurled over the grassy shoulder and into the open canal by the asylum fence. He got down to his hands and knees to look for it, all the while glancing at the man over the fence from time to time, but only got one nut. Deciding to walk back to the gas station he had driven by a few kilometers back, he was startled by a noise coming from behind him. He nearly wet his pants when he saw the man stood up, and was about to run because he could see that the fence was not too high and could be easily climbed over when he heard the man spoke… “You can take one nut from each of the other tires and with that one nut you’re holding you can fasten the spare, if you drive slowly you can reach the gas station ahead about half a klick and buy the replacement nuts”. He was stuttering his thanks and was saying how he hadn’t thought of the man’s idea when he heard the man again spoke… “I was sent here because I am Crazy, not Stupid, stupid!.” año 2. Two lunatics were sitting on a bench in the yard of an asylum… Loonie1: [grinning] I heard you poked quite a lot of eyes the other week. What’s the top count? Loonie2: [tee-heee] Eighteen, but I did fifty-eight the other month, and the great thing is when I did the last one I heard fifty-eight cry “NOT AGAIN!” Loonie1: [still grinning] stupid humans! Loonie2: [tee-hi-hi] Yeah, and some stupider than stupids. What about you, I saw you by the fence last night? Loonie1: You poke eyes…I like to hear tire blasts. See these tire spikes? Had ‘em sent over by Loomis, asked him before he went over the fence. I only got three left though. Loonie2: Nasty-hee-hee little spikes! Too short though, won’t pass through my peephole… Loonie1: Yeah I see what you’re thinking…say, how about I do the poking but you still do the counting? It’s Saturday and not much cars pass by tonight. Whooa…why are you staring at me like that? Loonie2: [hehe] Nothing mate, I just noticed you got one gray eye and the other ‘s blue…No you can’t, that’s what I do! Loonie1: I bet I can bite my gray eye. If I win I do the poking by your wall Loonie2: And if you can’t and I win, I get to poke your gray eye? [tee-hee] OK! Loonie1 [popped out his gray glass eye and bit it  haha, I won and I do the poking tonight! …Say, I bet you I can also bite my blue eye, and if I win I also do the counting [smirking now].Loonie2: Sure, and if you can’t, I get to poke your real eye! [giggling excitedly, was thinking – now I got you, you can’t have both glass eyes and see], and take my usual place on the wall. Loonie1 spat out his full denture and ‘bit’ his real eye! |
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