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RavenKnight
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Subject: DW 101

DW 101:

Now pay attention class! This is a crash course in the world of DW, focusing on the main actors or forces within this world. I hope you all brought your spamtionaries, as they are compulsory reading for the course! Now, if you'll open your spamtionaries and sharpen your pencils, lets begin...

Oh, and updates to the curriculum are highlighted, so make sure you pay attention!

Professors on this Course:

Baldr - Uber Professor, and Dean/Principal/School Director. Also the V.P. of Whips and Chains for the Sexy Club

Blaze - Professor of FAIL and self-FAIL, and no longer has his own parking space.... he knows why....
He also now has no arms, due to some lightsaber foolery, and can teach you how to wipe your behind without arms as an extra credit class...

Fear_Factory - Professor of Bikes and Awesomeness

kvakaca - Professor of Ninja Gremlins

Anonymous - Professor of Being DW God, Photobomb-ing, Noobology, The Anonymous Language, How To Steal Siggies 101, and Constructing Spamsculptures

Arianna - Professor of Spam-Based Lexicology and Grammar. Also has the following Titles: Keeper of the Spamtionary, President of the Sexy Club, and Queen of Innuendo/In-your-end-o

Lilitu - Professor of Pickle and Cream Cheese Sandwiches, and Head of Faculty for Catering...

Riece - Professor of Badassery and Butt-kicking, also in charge of the University Armoury, where I park my Apache. She also has her own parking space, previously occupied by Fear Factory/Iron Maiden.....

*Rinoa* aka 'Rin-Rin' aka 'something to do with the Moon' - Professor of Hating Pink, Nomming Cookies, Things to do with Cats, and Chomping on Livers. She is now also Honourary Head of the new Hannibal Lector Studies faculty.

Now you've met the staff of your course, lets move on to DW 101's course material;

Course Theory:

The one known as the Moose is god, and is only supremacised by the one known as the Ceiling Kitteh. And the one who is For The Win. And the one who is never seen except for that one time in local chat, and is known as Basement Kitteh......

The one known as Lilitu was previously known as Saint Lee, is a distributor of pickles, is obssessed with CUPCAKES! and also has a bizarre love of cheese, especially the cream cheese variety. She also is a billion times cooler than NinjaBlaze, seeing as Blaze can't even remember when someone changes their name.....

The one known as Arianna is the keeper of the realms language, which may be spamically correct yet grammatically incorrect at the exact same moment in time, which does defy the laws of physics but we've detained the quark in question so its ok.

The one called Strife has disappeared, and is probably off fighting Sephiroth, so our thoughts are with him and his golden chocobo at this difficult time.

The one known as Rinoa is currently busy eating kittens, quote NOMNOMNOMOMNOMOMNOM unquote, and will kill us if we ever mention this again. Oooops.

The one known as 'Monti' or 'Montrovant' (aka. Mont, Monty, Montgomery, Montague, Mt. Trovant, Master_Barker, bum, TootlesTheTrain, etc.) is the master of lurking and other such tab usages. He was owed some helix by the supreme ceiling kitteh, but now everything is right with the world and the kitteh's are safe again...

The one known as Faildr, RoarShock (aka PoorShock), NovaBlaze, NinjaBlaze, Boromir, and just plain FAIL, is best not mentioned at all, save that he is a heretic to the cause.....

The one known as DEATHSHAND or SAJASE is a big fan of CAPITAL LETTERS and is the boss man....

The one known as Rhazes is composed entirely of the element Pffffffft-onium, Atomic Weight 13, which is a highly reactive element.....

The newbs known as Anrath and Pankriatos have also disappeared, and its assumed that Sephiroth ate them before calling out Strife.

The one known as Hooligan or Caco doesn't know what KFC is, and really hates big pictures...

The one known as Jailler is a newb who loves to elementize stuff, and occasionally beats himself to death with Witch_Elia's bow or his battle axe. And also likes to spell 'lol' as 'LOL'.

The one known as Witch_Elia has done a disappearing act, in accordance with being a Witch, and faces trial and burning at the stake for witchcraft by puritans if they ever catch her....

The ones who Farm the Ven are renowned vegetables....
Especially ONION, who recently gained infamy in the forums on a day of repeated ONION-based postings, Monday the 2nd November, or as it shall now be known; 'ONION Day'.
Also, let every noob quake in fear as we hereby pronounce January the 2nd to be FARMER's Day!

The one known as Rydel cannot play Final Fantasy games for toffee, and likes to smirk at his graduation. He will also be getting a scathing change in the lesson plan, when I think of it....

The one known as Fear_Factory is the realm's keeper of motorcycles and their lore, and is also the realms producer of comics, of both the GWB and C&H schools of thought....

The one known as Angelian chose a really bad time to set up a forum siggy based business...

The one known as final_Dragon is a likeable newb who acts like a court jester...

The one who gives the lessons will not be mocked by his hairline, nor shall he be known as Baldy, for he is the teacher and class is in session! Having said that, I think it makes me look refined..... rofl XD

The one known as kvakaca seems to have disappeared for a bit, presumably eaten by ninja gremlins.

The one known as Karma Jack is currently wanted by the TP police for Class I Grand Heresy, and for forming and leading a resistance movement to the holy and sacred TP-rolls-over-the-top Church!
He also has a decent sense of humour, and an ability to grasp the rational, for a heretic.

The one known as StVigeouse, aka 'St.V', 'the Big V', and 'Vig', is what we, dear children, call 'old skool'. He is also an awesome clan master, having been tutelaged by him myself. Also, he posts so rarely, it is always best to keep an eye out for Four Horseman when it happens... and keep up to date on your Nostradamus...

The one known as Ed, Edgardo Perez, and 'the spaminator', is actually made of thousands of tins of Spam. You just have to look close enough...

The one known as Sage Kinnison, Master Kinnison, or Wise Kinnison is the only known player in possession of a 'Noobium Cannon', and can be identified (if masquerading) by his giveaway use of the words 'damn/darn noobs!' in either the title or body of his posts.
He has been missing for a while, and so its thought that whilst tinkering with his Noobium Cannon, it blew up in his face and atomized him down into his raw element, Anti-Noobium, atomic weight 84 (a super dense yet highly explosive element).

The one known as Riece is actually composed of pure 'Kick Ass (TM)' hot sauce, just look close enough at the picture of her with her 9mm closely enough and you will see.....
Although you may need to be wearing Aviator-style sunglasses to complete the effect...

The one called Goldsmith is suprisingly fluffly and wool-like, and therefore is subsequently great for cuddling, hence his title, the 'Cuddly Brute'.

Weird, or Wyrd, is an etherial matter which, according to pagan beliefs, resides in all living things. It is also that which Baldr is king of over Blaze, as I think I out-weirded him with some flying attack porcupines......

The one known as Awsumgee is awsumely absent...

The one known as Ryujin will get an honourary professorship if Arianna-chan ever notices his post...

The one known as Ditrick_Capone and his folk (the one known as Evul_Vercetti, etc.), run what is known as the 'DWafia', a relatively small and enthusiastic spin-off of 'The Godfather'. Rumour has it Grady is actually on the DWafia's payroll....

The ones known as Usme and Athena_Fortuna are on the roster of Prof Blaze's FAIL class. Along with anyone else I can think of. Including Prof Blaze.
As for this FAIL class, it is extremely difficult to pass, as you must simultaneuosly FAIL and WIN at the same time, be both humourus and femur (that's an anatomy joke, class), be able to take a joke, and be able to give as good as you get. Sort of. -Ish. Well, maybe not.

The one known as Fear Factory currently appears to be GWB, and has recently invented an intriguing number of ways to irritate his fellow professors. Thanks to this ingenious piece of work, he now receives no coffee break and must sit outside the teachers lounge inside a large pokeball... and Riece got his parking space after his second stroke of ingenuity...

The one known as Fat Controller or FC and his various pseudonyms is lookin' for a woman to treat him right, lookin' for a woman to hold him tight... da da da...

The one drinking, singing loudly, passing out and then waking up to drink some more, over in the corner there, is 'The Pu' and he can kill you in one of a hundred booze related manners, kind of like an intoxicated killer penguin (for reference to the killer penguin just google 'Edward Monkton killer penguin')....

The one known as MaD_MuTT is currently impounded by the dog pound for biting kvakaca..... although to be fair kvakaca had it coming... at least he's not rabid.... whoops...

The one known as Raspy is now sadly departed from our faculty, but will always be remembered. Most notably for intruding upon threads with innuendo's or 'in-your-end-o's', and the creation of the Sexy Club, of which myself and Arianna are members. But we don't get free t-shirts. Also, Raspy is notable for, despite having departed, having left a little bit of himself inside Arianna. Literally.

The one known as the Stig, is not very well known at all. For example, some say that behind his face, he has another face. Some say he doesn't know what a duck is, and that his urine is pure motor oil. Also, some say he is on swedish stamps, and that is you put him in water, he doesn't float. And so the list goes on...

Cookies - a definition. Small cakey biscuity objects, delicious to eat and a prime commodity and discussion topic in DW. The word cookie is derived from the dutch word koekje. Cookies come in sweet (most commonly chocolate chip) and savoury (usually cheese or green and yellow exploding dragon varieties) types. The only problem with the dragon cookies is that they tend to blow up whilst your eating them...

'In-your-end-o' - See Innuendo

Innuendo - Also referred to as 'In-your-end-o', this was a technique commonly employed by Raspy and now Arianna and others to imply something to do with stuff going down..... and whips and chains.... and fudge...

The Sexy Club - An exclusive society, whose membership, now that the ever sex-crazed Raspy is gone, is determined by Arianna. Being a spammer usually assists in application for membership, as does being sexy. The club has great benefits, but no free t-shirts. However, the club may soon be getting sexy discounted t-shirts....
Faculty members are eligible for membership application, as are students....

Winkfest -

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Third Reply

, and finally

The lesson will continue if I can think of anyone else...

This will all be reposted in NGD so Blaze can read up on it before the exam at the end of the semester.